Another Day Closer to Family
August 31, 2007 - 11:00pm
5:36 am I woke up this morning anxious for a visit that might or might not come. For a year my life has been slowly falling apart. This is my second time in prison and this time I’m doing a 90-month sentence. I could not get the anger management class that I begged my P.O. (parole officer) for while I was out. During my last 79-month sentence I swore to do everything I could to not come back, but here I am watching my soul slowly be torn apart.
As I go to chow I worry about my one-year-old son and fiancé out there in the real world. She got herself mixed up with the wrong crowd for a few months and now every day I worry about my son and her. If I was out there none of this would be going on. Chow sucks as usual but it’s food so I’m not starving.
Back in my cell I cracked my dome bending over to spit in the toilet. The damn TV rack is as low as my chin. Now I got a lump on my freshly shaved head. It hurts. The mirror I shaved in is at my chest so I had to shave by touch. They made this cell for 5’ 5” people no six footers or taller.
7:45 am Visiting has started and they haven’t called me yet. My heart beats with anticipation of holding my family. God I hate this so much. I pray every day that my appeal is granted and I get to go back and get my sentence reduced.
Now I’m getting frustrated because my visit hasn’t showed up yet. I missed sweat (lodge) just in case my visit showed. Hours go by sitting in my cell waiting for the visit to be called. Not gonna happen today. My heart feels broken. I can’t hold my son. The son that I promised would have a better life than mine.
4:30 pm Visiting is done and I’m now turning my mind towards drawing. Got to do something to occupy my mind or I’m gonna go crazy thinking about my non-visit. My count time has come again and I just sit here waiting for chow. There is a lot of cell time here at Oregon State Penitentiary, but I can deal with that. It’s all the thinking time that gets to me.
10:00 pm Count time is coming up. It’s my bed time. Another day finished, and closer to my family. I just hope I still have a family.
LC is a prisoner serving time in Oregon.
As I go to chow I worry about my one-year-old son and fiancé out there in the real world. She got herself mixed up with the wrong crowd for a few months and now every day I worry about my son and her. If I was out there none of this would be going on. Chow sucks as usual but it’s food so I’m not starving.
Back in my cell I cracked my dome bending over to spit in the toilet. The damn TV rack is as low as my chin. Now I got a lump on my freshly shaved head. It hurts. The mirror I shaved in is at my chest so I had to shave by touch. They made this cell for 5’ 5” people no six footers or taller.
7:45 am Visiting has started and they haven’t called me yet. My heart beats with anticipation of holding my family. God I hate this so much. I pray every day that my appeal is granted and I get to go back and get my sentence reduced.
Now I’m getting frustrated because my visit hasn’t showed up yet. I missed sweat (lodge) just in case my visit showed. Hours go by sitting in my cell waiting for the visit to be called. Not gonna happen today. My heart feels broken. I can’t hold my son. The son that I promised would have a better life than mine.
4:30 pm Visiting is done and I’m now turning my mind towards drawing. Got to do something to occupy my mind or I’m gonna go crazy thinking about my non-visit. My count time has come again and I just sit here waiting for chow. There is a lot of cell time here at Oregon State Penitentiary, but I can deal with that. It’s all the thinking time that gets to me.
10:00 pm Count time is coming up. It’s my bed time. Another day finished, and closer to my family. I just hope I still have a family.
LC is a prisoner serving time in Oregon.
